I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
