I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
