I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
