I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize