My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize