I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
