OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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