Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize