those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
