Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
