I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
