the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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