I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You smell like stripper and shame
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize