you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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