I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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