Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize