I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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