I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
