Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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