you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
