imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
