do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
