What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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