I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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