Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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