Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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