Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
