Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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