Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize