ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
