so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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