i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
