Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
