Banned from zoo.
Again?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
No more Irish car bombs ever.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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