okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
