where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
