I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
