So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
