I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
