I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
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