ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
