But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
