Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
