Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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