I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
