if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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