So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
