we have officially lost it.
Porn is love you can see.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
