I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
How's work?
Spinning.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
