question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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