I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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