well you can't waste a boner
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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