I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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