she was so not down for the gang bang
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize