Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
