i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
