You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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