Only a mothe r could love this liver
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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