At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
