i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
They have beer where we have blood.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize