If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
